Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
