she was so not down for the gang bang
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
