"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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