I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
