I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
