This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
