before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
