My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
