it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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