i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize