just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
