Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sober January is a disaster.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
