just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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