What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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