how can u be prego again
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
