grandma shit on top of the toilet
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
