he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
