He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
