This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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