Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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