Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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