Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
