"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
