I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
whose ass print is on the piano?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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