I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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