Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
