The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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