i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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