It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
