i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
