I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
