You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize