I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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