Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
