I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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