He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
