I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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