drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
