I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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