Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
