did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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