Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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