How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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