Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
