Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
