is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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