I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
