oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
