Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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