I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
