dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
