well you can't waste a boner
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
