We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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