So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
