thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
