I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
