Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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