My room smells like vodka and shame
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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