She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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