moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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