I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I will die if light touches me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
