Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
