I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
